Ask a better question, part 3

How heavy are your questions?

Part 3 of Ask a Better Question is actually a question - "How heavy are YOUR questions?"  In this installment, we investigate which question you are reaching for, and what response you are likely to solicit.  Buckle in, because this topic is HEAVY!

This will be the last time I write on questioning for a while, but I felt it was worthwhile to cover one more facet.  You see, we have an opportunity to filter or improve the actual answer we are seeking, and phrase it as a better question - one that actually is likely to help us towards a positive response.  Before I get specific, how about an example?

Let's say YOU are shopping for a luxury item for the first time - one you are not that familiar with - we'll go with a boat.  You have made it clear that you are an amateur by the nature of your dialogue - you've asked about anti-lock braking (on a boat, really?), cruise control, and "where does the waste from the toilet go?"  For a first timer, all seeming legitimate questions, but you're on a roll - the salesperson knows you are new at this, get it?  NOW, you are on the topic of pricing, and, without a point of reference, you simply ask "is that the best price?"  Hmmmm, what do you think the guy will say?  I'm going to guess it's something like "Yes, it is."  He may even feign an effort to shuffle through some papers, sigh out loud, then look at you forlorn and say, "yeah... we're about to get a hit from customs on import charges plus with fuel prices and all, we are paying extra for freight.  I also forgot this model has the terillium carbide alloy trim that smooths the ride and doubles as radar that locates fish.  So, I should have quoted you more, but Oh well."  Yeah, that was a dumb question!  In your MIND, you want to know if that was the best price, but OUT LOUD you should have asked something like:

• "Tell me how you arrived at this price."
• "I know you can do better - sharpen your pencil"
• "I've done research - your company is reputable, which is good.  However, I've found better pricing without much effort - how are you going to keep my business?"
• and many, many other efforts.  Bottom line, the question you ask doesn't need to match the question in your mind!

Now, let's flip the roles, since I want to help you as a salesperson.  There are so many places to go, but I am going to focus on "Why" vs. "What".  Only 2 letters separate these two words, but the different responses they elicit can make the 2 little letter difference as dramatic as "Osama" vs. "Obama." 

You see, "WHY?" is a 275 lb heavyweight, standing at 6 1/2 feet tall, and "What?" is a lightweight - at a gentle 95 lbs, and standing at 5' 1".  As a sales pro, you BETTER know what response you are trying to elicit, and therefore you ought to have control on how you ask the question.  Often when dealing with customers, you want to know "WHY?" they want what they want, or "WHY?" they are asking what they are asking.  However, the best way to get there without being offensive is with a "WHAT?" question.  Let me illustrate:

Buyer says they want Corian countertops, and that it is non-negotiable.  You don't sell Corian, and maybe you can't understand why that is so important.  The amateur goes to their quiver, and pulls out the heavyweight - "Why do you want Corian?!?"  Maybe you weren't an expert at softening your surprise, either, so you successfully put conflict between you and your buyer!  No, a better question is "I can tell that is important to you.  Would you mind sharing what it is about solid surface counters that is so important?"

Now, with the care associated with the question, you'll be amazed what you hear.  Perhaps it was an amazing demonstration they once saw 10 years ago.  Maybe their father worked for DuPont, who was extra lenient when he was out of work for 5 months after a life threatening stroke.  Maybe they like the look better, and maybe, just maybe - they think that "Corian" is a name brand of granite, and that's really what they mean.  See how asking the question can make a difference?

As a father of 5 plus foster children, I can prove the theory with children.  Ever try asking a toddler "Why did you throw your food on the floor?"  or "Why did you hit your sister?".  I don't even know the toddler in your life, but with almost the same certainty as the sun rising tomorrow, I bet the answer is usually, "I don't know" (stretched out into 14 syllables).  Because you reached for the heavyweight!  The kid already knows he/she screwed up, you are just deciding what level of torture they will be receiving for the infraction.  "I don't know" is the only safe response! 

Now, since you are assumably the older, wiser creature - AND assuming you can control your anger, you can outsmart the 3' wonder of destruction by beginning your question with "WHAT?"  Try "What did your sister do to make you hit her?"  or "What was wrong with your food?"  Chances are much better you will get closer to the truth.  Now, I'm not claiming to be the next Dr. Spock, but I feel good that "WHAT" works better than "WHY" with your toddler, and even better with your customers.  Give it a try!