Fear of Loss Trumps Desire to Win

It rarely fails - I am coaching one of our sales counselors through a negotiation, only to recommend a negotiation point that strikes fear into my counselor.  Not just "I don't think that will work, Stephen." kind of fear - no - I'm talking sweaty palms, dilated pupils, "I don't want to get shot", and "I'm-going-to-be-so-broke-my-three-year-old-will-have-to-go-to-community-college" kind of fear.  Why is that?  Because the closer you get to realizing a sale or a deal, the more one fears losing it.  However, we homosapiens are funny creatures, because this phenomenon goes way beyond sales, it's true for all aspects of our lives.

It is our nature that anything that we care about, we want to keep.  At the very least, we wish to stake our claim in what we already have firmly prior to evaluating other options.  This is why a high school senior may really want to ask out the head cheerleader, but will keep his current date UNTIL he gets a firm "yes."  This is why employees seeking out new jobs (which, according to a gallup poll last month , 14% of you are! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/31/america-job-satisfaction-gallup-recession_n_868979.html) are so cautious about keeping your job search private.  I suppose it is so you do not alert that security department of your company with connections in Guantanomo Bay, where they have a special torture division reserved for middle managers from IT firms who had the audacity to send their resume to Google.  Or, it's because the fear of losing your current minimum wage job in a 2x2 cube in the basement of your company's 39 year old building suddenly becomes more motivating than a 42nd floor corner office with an assistant and 17 weeks of vacation.  It's because fear of loss trumps desire to win.

What should you do?  First, subconsciously knowing this, salespeople often try to instill this fear in their client. 

Warning #1 - any false fear you create actually turns the real fear "off" in most client's mind.  As a sales professional, make sure any fear you try to create - (i.e. the sale ends Sunday, this is only for the next 4 clients, or "what if someone else calls me back and takes it while you are thinking about it?") - is real.   Do not try to instill false fear, it will backfire.

Warning #2 - Be aware of this emotion working deep in your cerebral cortex, in an area smaller than a walnut.  When you sense yourself beginning to fear the "deal" slipping away, focus back on why this decision will help the client win.  It may be helpful at this point, instead of creating false fear (i.e. what if your car blows up on the way home, sending you careening off a bridge, only to be swallowed whole by a rare breed of river sharks that haven't even been identified by taxonomists??  Wouldn't you wish you had bought my life insurance policy THEN???) - Instead of that - have the client verbalize out loud why they think your product or service may work for them.  You may be surprised, they may talk themselves right into your terms!

Warning #3 - FOR BUYERS ONLY
Ok, so this one is for all of you out there with a wife like mine, who I literally had to drag out of a car dealership one time by her hair (imagine the Pasadoble dance) because I didn't like the deal they were negotiating on the vehicle.  Had she seen that Volkswagen commercial, she would have licked the door handle!  So, anytime you are on the buying side of a negotiation and you fear losing the deal, remember first that you are paying - that's why the seller is still talking to you.  Second, revert to facts.  If the seller is saying "wow, this is a tremendous deal my supervisor authorized for you," calmly ask them to prove it.  Ask them to demonstrate how others have recently paid more or the same for a deal with similar terms.  You'll feel better about the price, and if it's not good, they'll feel forced to make it better!

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